The Evangelist|The Plenery
It appears Nigeria has now advanced from debating budgets and ballots to debating Beelzebub. Architect Victor Attah, former governor and now part-time theologian, has decided that the best way to critique President Bola Ahmed Tinubu is to enroll him in the School of Neo-Platonic Cosmology, tuition free, but with eternal damnation included.
In this cosmic drama, Tinubu is not just a politician with questionable governance strategies; he is allegedly the Devil’s understudy, hovering between Origen’s deficiency and Augustine’s “inferior realm.” Nigerians, of course, are the collateral saints condemned to watch the performance with no intermission.
One almost wonders if Attah kept a candlelit séance with Augustine, Pseudo-Dionysius, and Plotinus before drawing up this curriculum. After all, Nigeria has always had two governing documents: the Constitution and the Book of Revelation. When both fail, politicians simply quote Plato and blame Satan.
But let’s be fair: if Tinubu is the Devil, then the Nigerian electorate must be the willing congregation, faithfully paying tithes in the form of fuel subsidies and inflation. Attah’s allegory only underscores the comedy: in a country where darkness is constant, we hardly need metaphors for Hell. We’re already living in one.
Perhaps the real allegory is not about Tinubu as Devil but about Nigerians trapped in an endless theological symposium, arguing whether corruption is a metaphysical deficiency or just a very practical tool of governance. Either way, demons don’t fix roads, and philosophers don’t reduce fuel prices.
So, while Attah preaches his sermon on “The Devil and Tinubu,” Nigerians continue their daily Eucharist of fuel queues, hunger, and insecurity, proof that whether ruled by God, man, or devil, the nation’s fate is perpetually Platonic: an ideal that never becomes reality.
